yinyuan blog

2011-08-28T22:54:00.001+08:00

CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

2010-11-21T20:52:00.002+08:00

WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ONE LOOKING AFTER MY BROTHER AND CAN'T GO OUT!!!!!!! WHEN MY FRIENDS ASKED ME OUT I AM THE ONLY ONE AT HOME LOOKING AFTER HIM AND WHEN I CALL MY FAMILY MEMBER THERE WON'T BE ANYONE LISTENING TO MY CALL!!!!! FUCK THIS FAMILY LA!!!! CAN'T EVEN HAVE MY FREEDOM OF GOING OUT..... KAN NI NA BU CHAO JI BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-08-15T16:03:00.003+08:00

it's been almost 3 months i did not post anything. Everyday is still the same from that day. Been going drinking, and doing all sort of things i shouldn't. I though i had forget things we shared but until last night dream i know i haven forget a single thing. And when i go drinking i didn't get drunk too, no matter how much i drink. Also my NS work been getting so much that I'm getting sick so easily, one man show in my office, who won't get sick doing it.

Enrolled for my Class 2B license two days ago, but no money to go for my prac lesson, and the theory lesson only have available slot on SEP 2010. So I've decided to go all out for my Class 2B license and i hope to get it before new year.

Gotta stop here and i have nth much more to post...............Signing Off.............................

2010-05-21T20:39:00.003+08:00

i must have been lying to myself ytd...because i haven let it go yet, because i've been thinking bout you so much...i just want you back with me, i hate the feeling i have now, wanted to cry but really nth come out from my eyes, can't smile and laugh like i use to be all the smiles i put on was all fake i dun want to be like this...i really hope i can be dead now...feeling so terrible...can't sleep at night too everyday i slp only around 4am in the morning, all i do was stare at the computer and thinking of you...just want to go drink till i die.....loss of motivation to do everything.........

but you are already with somebody else....nth more i can do....

2010-05-17T22:10:00.002+08:00

i have realize the more i do to correct my mistake the more wrong things i will do.

just like i did not know returning you those things will make you despise and hate me even more then before, eveytime i want to do something to make you feel better but in the end make you despise me more, take our last date as example, i was so happy we get to meet up to have dinner tgt at last, and otw there i tod you are just tired, and i'm not feeling very well so did not talk much but in the end things happen. i rather we nve meet on the particular day. when i return the thing i did not have the thought of making you unhappy but too things just happen like dat....all i did was just want to redeem myself and want to proof that i wun commit the same mistake but then i was condemed...without even given chance to proof it....now that i know whatever i do will make you hate/despise or even treat me as someone who you didn't even get to know before i shall do nth anymore, do nth to make you even take a second look of me....to even know i existed...i just want to tell you i'm sorry but i dun dare to call you up................

2010-05-15T21:08:00.004+08:00

today, found out the truth although to you it doesn't matter but to me it matter a lot. although the thing you told me really hurt so much because in just bout 1 month of our break up you are already attached again, you are telling me you never really love me before and i was right after what you have told me...to myself i never know i would love you so much that although i given everything back to you but i kept only the wallet and every time i see the wallet i would think of you. everyday now i could not eat, could not sleep and could not think well, and i think i will not love another woman in my life anymore. because my heart will be with you, and it's always till the day i draw the last breath of my life. i know you won't be looking into my blog anymore that's the reason now i have wrote all this feeling i have down, this place will be the only place i can tell my secret to now...because you will only spend time with your newly found love or maybe you already love him even before we are together, and i have also realize i only have one photo of us taken together. so sad to say i know we also won't be sharing our happiness and sadness together anymore.....dear huixian i will always rmb the days we had spent tgt for my life and i hope you will be happy.........

2010-05-12T20:47:00.002+08:00

no more crying anymore from now on already...because my heart is completely broken into pieces and nothing can fix it back anymore....when i am bathing just now, i wanted to cry out as it's the only time i can do it...but no-matter how hard i tried nothing come out of my eyes, then i saw myself in the mirror i have a look which have no emotion on the face then i realize my heart is really broken into pieces by you and it will never heal up even 1/10 of it's original...all i have on my face now is all fake...this is the day where i felt i have lost everything in this world and really have no meaning to live on....now i just hope that i will get into a fatal accident and die on the spot so i can free myself...there is nothing i can do to have you return to me anymore....all hope is lost for good....only can wish you could be happy from now on..............

2010-05-12T00:39:00.002+08:00

feel so dead.....been crying to sleep recently and more & more frequent it's happening....did not know what to do.....and because of this plus the workload i'm having i feel like this body does not belong to me at all.....it doesn't feel like me cos i'm not the type who can take so much stress.....just wanna go into a sleep of eternal....and never ever have to wake up to face the stress.... :(

2010-05-07T01:39:00.002+08:00

feel like a coward now....only dare to take half a step and then stop there...after that all i could do is wait...wait...wait....and still wait....from the very day i have been waiting up till today i'm still waiting...and nothing else...feels really like a coward....

CHEN YINYUAN!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE SUCH A LOSER!!!

2010-04-19T21:49:00.001+08:00

only 2hr more but you are not there, my dream seem like won't be here anymore. first birthday to be so sad, feels very very EMO now. ):

2010-04-16T01:59:00.003+08:00

Since i cant fall asleep i will come here to trash out again as now everyone is asleep in my hse so no one will see what i'm writing and i will start from one week ago.

last friday, 09/04/2010. Went back to work after two day of MC and got very angry with my collegue who was on leave that day. Before i went to extract my wisdom tooth and on MC i have ask him to do something related to work on behalf of me but he not only done it wrongly, he didn't even finish the job i have given to him. And i have to go find out where he have not done and what went wrong and i don't know how to find out so i decide to wait for him to come back work then i ask him, not only that just after my MC, my boss keep asking me to do this and do that i'm sick and tired and he still want me to go up and down to do all the stupid stuff and in the end he dun even need it.

Saturday & Sunday didn't do much thing just stayed at home and played some games.

on monday, 12/04/2010. When i just reach office there is work waiting for me although i forget what is it already, like having short term memory these days. Anyway do all those stuff for the whole morning which left me no time to buy and eat breakfast. After lunch time, i did almost nothing as i do not want to do as i'm very tired so just stay around and wasting time till i finish work.

Tuesday, 13/04/2010. Normal day of work.

Wednesday, 14/04/2010. Went to work late so took a cab there with my bro because he is also late for work. That was also a very bad day, not much people is at work and was boring in the office because i'm doing the cutting and writing work again, and yes it's still just halfway done!!! Crap right, after so long and it's still halfway done only, feels like i'm just wasting time doing all these useless things for NS.

Today, thursday, 15/04/2010. Today was just very very BAD day, morning i have to settle alot of paper work thing and at 1100hrs have to go for a meeting on the behalf of my supervisor because he got a more important meeting at the same time at other places, so he ask me to attend the meeting on behalf of him. So i went to the meeting and come back i still got to summerise the meeting minutes for him and print out for him to see, plus i got to explain to him what to do. After lunch, everybody was out to do their work out of base and left only me at my office rotting away, and i thought i could just slack all the way till time up and go home but i was wrong. My supervisor is asking me to do stuff that i have told him hundred of time especially the carpark thing, and the locker issue. And i hate these few days wheather because it have been raining almost every evening and cause me to go home late, especially today, 1945hrs then i went home due to the rain and some work to be discuss with my supervisor and collegue. After went home do my stuff decide to sleep but in the end i still can't sleep and here i am updating my post.

--==--=Y=--==--

2010-04-08T20:11:00.003+08:00

to is 8th April...2nd day of my MC....and i didn't do much thing at home...

morning wake up make appoinment with NDC to have check up on my tooth where ytd do the extraction there is still some tooth root left in the gum and i need to go down to NDC to check whether i have to take it out or i can just leave it there....after making the appoinment went to brush teeth and make my breakfast....dip the cereal in the milk to make it soft to eat and it took me 30mins before i could eat it..Zzzzzzz...

ytd after extraction i went back home felt so weak...and when i was sleeping i felt so cold even when no fan is on and no window is open....it is so hot in my room and i can cover my whole body with blanket and scare i have infection and cause the fever...no one was at home to look after me...for once i was hoping you are actually there to take care of me.....i rested untill around 8+++ then my gum felt so pain till i only can drink glucolin before i eat my medcine...after taking the medcine i felt much better but still i feel so weak to do anything...

my next NDC appoinment is 27th April....hope i no need to take out the tooth root because i'm afraid....

--==--=Y=--==--

2010-04-07T01:07:00.002+08:00

haix....just feel like comin here to trash out the unhappyness...this might be the only thing i can trufully say out my feeling...so i decide not to stop blogging.......

for the past 1 week plus 3 days i have felt the same way...just can't get over it....although it's not so hurting this time round but i still felt lost everytime i think of it...although you said that it's not everything, but to me it is...i have also wondered whether i truly know the meaning for loving someone now, i know that loving someone is want them to be happy no matter what they do or decide, but i only thought of having you with me to love you...does it call love you this way?? For one week, and i still can't get the answer.

this one week have been one of the most suffering week for me....having to lose you and getting sick for almost one month and now having some pimple-like thing at my eye area, plus having so much 'sai kang' to do alone at work...still got to act like nothing happen untill late night i would cry to sleep and because of that i have been not enough sleep most of the time...don't know how long will this be lasting...hope it's not a life-time...

tomorrow going to polyclinic on my own again, it's been like that from the first time i went to polyclinic and can say it's has been more than 6 years i've gone there alone...don't know is going to pluck my tooth or just go for checking-up for preparation of plucking...pray god that is plucking and also it will not be so painful as what other people said so...

--==--=Y=--==--

2010-04-01T21:10:00.003+08:00

today is 1st April 2010....another 19 days i will officially be an adult but dunno for what reason i do not get excited when it's reaching my birthday soon....maybe the reason is i know you will not be there to celebrate it with me...and also that i still cant accept the fact that we are already not in relationship and you will not be there for me to talk to when i have problem in the future...

been emotional tired due to i have cried to sleep these two day and having to act like i'm very fine to everyone around me....even family...dont want them to worry for my especially my mum....she will think i will go smoking and drinking like i did before...although i though of getting myself drunk to forget all the sorrow...didn't know i will be so weak and useless when come to relationship problem.....but dun worry no matter how weak and useless i am, i will not get myself into smoking and getting drunk (cause i might go drink abit) because i have respondsibility privately and at work....

just hopping i will get to accept that we are no longer able to share our happiness and sorrow tgt soon so that i will not be so distracted for both work and privately life......

--==--=Y=--==--

2010-03-31T18:57:00.003+08:00

today i have made a decision not to have any 'GF' anymore cause everytime i get into a relationship it wouldn't last long and everytime i have a break-up i will also lost someone that i can confine to. It's been like this for 4 times and everytime the ending is also the same...so decided not to have anymore 'GF' so i won't have to go through the 'heart ache' and loses someone to confine too.....

today is also a stress out day... I think is the after effect of the IPPT ytd so i'm very very tired and still got to go here and there up and down....cos morning the 'smelly bastard' MC again and thiru go range so left oni me to work so very busy and afternoon after lunch when back to office got no mood to work but got alot e-mail to reply plus this and that so really tired out le...

now just reach home so going to have dinner and go bath and then see tired anot, if tired then go sleep already...

--==-Y-==--

2010-03-29T20:23:00.002+08:00

how i wish time can return to the past where i can correct my wrong doing and makes thing in right place...

today the first time i almost get into an accident cos i cross the road forgetting to see whether there is any car passing by anot...luckily it's a bike and it rode just right in front of my eye and i still dun realise it first and i just continue walking and i just suddenly realise only after i finish crossing the road...i have not cried today and i dunno when i'll start crying...because for the one month i have been afraid of just one thing and it just happen ytd night...i did not know how i should react first but after i realise that it just happen and now i dunno what to do....

tmr having my IPPT hope i can just pass it once and for all....and stop frowning for my IPPT till i ORDing

--==-Y-==--

2010-03-08T21:15:00.002+08:00

now i know how hard it is to regain the trust you lost from someone. i feel like everytime i'm in a relationship i will screw it by doing sonething stupid to my GF. i don't know what i still can do now to get back the trust you gave me before.......

2009-12-27T22:03:00.003+08:00

after ssssssoooooooo long nve update le....today shall update abit.....

today is 27 DEC 2009....it is 728 days from the day our first date....it is a very special day of our life...actually today going to watch 'alvin and the chipmunks 2'.....but sadly god did not help me cos when we wanna go watch that time the ticket is selling fast so we gotta change to another movie...haix.......and there is something i wanna say to her today but something is urging not to as after i said it our relation may turn out not as good...plus i am also afraid to say it...haix i have become such a coward now...feel so lousy toward my life cos my NS life is also quite mess up now...and my whole life is already mess up since the day i failed to score well in my 'O' lvl...hope there is ppl out there to give my courage to move on and do better in my life in the future...

i shall end my blog now.....to be continue.....

2009-09-28T03:49:00.002+08:00

after almost two month never update my blog le...should be time to update le ba......and since i can't sleep so i'll update it..

nothing much have change after so long, all i did was to go work then come home play and go facebook see videos...and most of my working time is at geyland NPC looking after the contractors....can you imagine that everyday i at there doing nothing except going facebook play restaurant city and all those games on facebook or i will just watch movie or drama that i have downloaded...then nothing else already...but the thing good about going there is that my working hours is very short....less then 7hrs okay....

and since i can't sleep now i'm trying my best to blog longer so i can get tired and go to sleep really soon as i got to work afternoon shift later.....but i don't know what i can update le so going to stop here aready....will try to update soon... see ya...

signing off: YinYuan

2009-07-30T23:20:00.000+08:00

alot has happen today...it was such a beautiful day but everything turn out so badly...so near yet so far...now i noe its meaning...will everything end just like this...i dunno wad to do...realli dunno wad i stil can do.......

2009-07-26T22:29:00.000+08:00

i'm so comfuse...wad am i to you now...?i dunno...so confuse :( dunno wad to do now....

2009-07-05T01:08:00.002+08:00

hi...this is the number 200th post in my blog since 26th FEB 2005...Didn't really have anything to blog la...Today whole day was at home playing restaurant city and sleep so it's a very boring day...Actually wanna go out but like no one free at all so you know...And my phone never really rings and when it rings it was not the someone i waiting for...even in the MSN also quite similar...wonder why i can't sleep now... :( but never mind on the 25th this month i already have a date haa...hope three weeks past faster... :)

Alright i shall blog till here and update when i got new things to update...

Logging off --==--=Y=--==--

2009-06-30T22:36:00.002+08:00

i feel so down out of the blue...Didn't know what has happened...strange things happen now and then...yesterday had a nightmare of getting chased by few people who wanted to kill me...it make me very worried cause most of my dream came true...so worried now... :(

2009-06-15T21:55:00.003+08:00

hi peeps...it's been so long and almost everyday was the same...morning went to SOC then night go home sleep...so bored one and weekend also never go out...except last sat and every sun to go swimming....anyway i shall blog only the sat although it's very short...i sleep very late on fri night so on sat i wake up at 1600hrs in the afternoon lo...and after slacking all i want then go bath cause i'm meeting HER ma...and i left home at 1730hrs den reach HER place around 1800hrs...den waited for HER awhile then we slowly walk from HER block to Tampinese Mall de (Pasta Mania) eat dinner....after eating our dinner we go do some shopping and i still cannot find my instand vegetarian maggi porridge la..so sad...then went to HER place to watch TV got e korean drama and the guess guess guess till 0100hrs of sun and i proceeded home after that and went to bath and sleep after that...

2009-05-29T00:10:00.000+08:00

sad, tired confuse...what should i do...

2009-05-02T19:44:00.002+08:00

so long since i last update...
dis week is a long weekend for me...and next week is my POP le...feeling so lost....cos i will miss the time i had spent wid my squadmate in HTA...these moments we shared no matter bitter or sweet will surely be in the memories for my life till i drew the last breath...so much things happen in there...first we started not knowing each other and doin thing individually and eventually we came to be friends that sees each other almost everyday den like brothers dat shares happy and painful time tgt...life in HTA wasn't easy but we make it fun to us all...and we passed out tgt now...

today, 2nd may i have stayed at home and oni played game this bring back memories where before i went to NS i did this almost everyday...and i wondered have i grown to be a man now??i'm not sure of it either...

2009-04-15T18:03:00.002+08:00

haix...everytime at this moment i feel so down and very hot tempered..dunno izzit becos im goin to book in to my camp le ma...so easily get angry...haix....feeling very very down now...dunno wad to do... :( how i wish u are here to cheer me up...but nvm i have to learn to control my temper if not i will turn very violent...and yes friday i will be home again..hahaha...see ya then...bye ppl..

2009-04-10T13:17:00.004+08:00

hi peeps...almost two month didn't update my blog le...life been always same...monday till friday at HTA training lo..den weekend go out wid her...den sunday prepare to book in..and i'm ready to pass out...lol dat the happiest moment in my life...POP will be at 7th may...

and i just brought a new HP for myself as present...sony ericsson W980...some of my NS friends say no gd de...but i dun mind cos i jus like it...haha...
update till here for the moment...will be back soon...and also i will be on block leave on mon, tues and book in on wed night..so ask me out while time last... :)

2009-02-14T18:59:00.003+08:00

so long nve update my blog le...cos nth realli special happen and last sat go watch 'the wedding game' its so boring lo.haha...den at camp stil the same as always la....and hhmmmm...life been abit diff from the last time...maybe im now a change person le..to bad or to good its for u people put there to find out le...

anyway i change blogskin le...any comment pls tag me...see ya...!!

2009-01-17T19:15:00.002+08:00

ytd came back from confinement le...very f***ing happy..haha...cos i missed everyone...

today 17/1/2009...wneh to watch red cliff wid her...although we didnt tok much today...but im v happy cos i feel dat we are stil quite close even after my confinement...haha...i took the wrong place for today show la...too behind le lo...haha...jus beside the door oni...den after the show walk her home as she is goin out la...den whn to have dessert wid my mother and brothers(2)...den when to buy camera-less phone...not too bad...den home and here updating now...

during confinement period is quite similar everyday...morning 0515hrs wake up den go wash up...den 0545hrs like dat water parade den go for breakfast...after that is lesson or drill training till afternoon den have lunch...den go back bunk rest awhile lo....den lesson or drill again...till evening go for dinner...den rest till 2030hrs water parade again...den wash up, bath den polish boot den prepare to slp le...not reali v exciting but it was fun haha..

update till here...see ya...and btw i like the PNSF de 11b...so f***ing nice... :)

2009-01-05T22:20:00.001+08:00

tmr goin NS le...so excited but at the same time quite sad cos i will lose much freedom...i will miss u too...hope dat i wun bully ppl inside and wun be bully by ppl also..lol..ok goin slp soon le..post somemore after i book out from camp...see u guys.... :)

2008-12-11T22:51:00.001+08:00

haix.....dunno wad happen to me....feelin quite down these few dae....hope i'll recover frm my depress soon............

2008-12-07T23:04:00.001+08:00

sry...i did not keep my promise to you...but its becos my fone is spoil dat y i got no choice to upgrade and get a new phone myself...really very sry...

2008-10-31T14:04:00.003+08:00

hi everyone im back again le...jus got hm from chalet not long ago...n noe wad...dis is e most sufferring chalet i ever had...cos i keep coughing for the whole chalet la even now when im typing dis post...dunno wad happen to my stupid weakling throat la...for two week plus le...now like talk also got abit prom lo...haix...plus chalet oni BBQ eat...worst nightmare sia...but nvm im havin tonnes of fun there with all those HD esp old bird staff...haha...and i finally saw e SHARINGAN of thomas...haha...so style sia...but i bet he dun realli like ba lol...hope can organise same chalet wid e same ppl next yr again...i'll missed it...

these few days stayed at hm most of the time cos not working...quite bored la...so it mean dat shld be time to do some training be4 goin to NS le...but still gotto wait for my weakling throat to recover first...now starting to stare at com le, jia lat liao...anyway nth much to blog at the moment so guddabye!!!!!!!!

2008-10-23T05:04:00.002+08:00

hi everyone...i cant slp again...haix...these few days keep emoing at hm...got nth to do...and u noe wad my life has been becomin more and more dull le...cos its lack of something...money, gal, or friend??i dunno myself...still trying to figure out the cos...

has been staring my com doin nth for 6hrs!!!!i didnt noe how i did it but it amazing la...cant believe i can stare at com for 6hrs doin nth...life's getting more and more and MORE dull these months...ever since may...dunno who will look into my blog nowdays but i jus hope someone would look into my heart and tell me wad had happened to me...cos i feel dat im not myself anymore...cant explain in mere words...just that the CHENYINYUAN is not the CHENYINYUAN i once knew....im quite cheerful in the past but now i seem to cant accept the reality in life...i cant do well in anything i do...example: study, work, and even handle simple problem in life...the only thing i realised is im not myself anymore...this is so FREAKING retarded...

goin NS soon...january 6th 2009...in police academy...

im so sad...

2008-10-13T04:53:00.002+08:00

im confused now...dunno wad is e relationship wid her...everytime e ans i get now is 'i don't know' so now i dunno wad to do...getting sleepless night again...Zzzz

today is Stephanie Dtai Cai Xia last day working at Esplanade HD le...so sad she got to go Vivocity HD and at e sametime du lan wid e office ppl dunno why they doing such an unacceptable decision...i going to resign frm HD soon too...

today after work me, thomas, weegee, derren, angeline and e female lead Dtai Cai Xia went to MS eat...eat till very full lo...cos we brought alot of food...lol..and we had lots of fun today...how i wish time can be stop at that moment cos i didnt have so much fun and laughter for dunno how long le...and most of us resigning soon dunno when we stil can meet up to have fun again...today took quite a few pic wid weegee HP..hope to get e pic soon so that i can keep those memories in my phone to rmb today and everyone...

I'M GETTING BORED WID NIGHT LIFE AND SLEEPLESS NIGHT!!!!!!!

2008-10-03T02:09:00.002+08:00

the only thing i can say after so long nve update is....life is still still suck...that's it...

2008-09-07T02:01:00.002+08:00

today (sat) went to watch movie at GV Tampines wid her...guess wat show we watch....its Wall-E...lol quite funny la but very borin cos all it make is only machine sound and very little human voice...but nvm im happy enough...after the movie suddenly rain den walk around first and she went to buy her bag so i company her lo..den after that i went to buy a jacket haha e colour is i nve buy B4 one lol...but everyone say nice hehe..den reach hm rest first den went to meet jb for awhile den went hm till now sittin in front of my com updatin my blog...

2008-09-01T23:07:00.005+08:00

today is monday...went to work earli morning...reach hm at 6++ den eat my special meal...that is laksa sauce without mee but rice in it lol...it taste suck alright...but i like it...maybe im hungry ba haha...anyway ytd i had fun at sentoesa...all the activities there is boring but only when you are there make me look forward to it and had fun there..

tomorrow is tuesday will be working from 6PM-11PM...

will i get the answer i wanted within this two week...i hope it will be...

2008-08-24T16:59:00.001+08:00

WTH!!! why keep rainin rain till i no mood also...fast shine man i miss the sun!!!!!

2008-08-11T04:44:00.002+08:00

SIAN AR WHY I CANT SLP EVERYNIGHT!!!GGRRRRRRR!!!!!I'MSO FEDUP NOW...I DUN WAN NIGHT LIFE IT MAKES ME THINK TOO MUCH!!!!

haix hope i can slp everynight from tmr... :(

2008-08-06T01:09:00.002+08:00

i am confused...dont know wat to do...being tired of living on...

living on = will lose important person or thing to me = tired of living

can anyone tell me wad shld i do

2008-08-03T18:21:00.001+08:00

i thought i had chance but it seems dat i dont realli have it...feeling down these few days..didnt noe wad to do afterall...i just cant do anything now..

2008-07-28T23:20:00.000+08:00

there is alot of things i wanna say bout but same time i also dont know wad to say....life's really likes to make fun of me...these days i feel like i'm having splitting personalities because i can be happy in a moment but suddenly i will start emoing...i really dont know myself now...i dont understand myself and i dont know what i want in life...to me...now life doesnt have any value anymore so what is the purpose i am living for...answer is "i dont know" and that all i can say...

and currently i am very fed up by my internet connection...WTF la when i dont want to use it nothing happen but when i want to use it the connection is not there i really want to shout "FUCK IT LA!" but i am afraid to do so because i might scare my family members...

i wrote this at 10:51PM let see what time i can post this up...

life is meaningless really meaningless now...i dont know who i can approach because i cant find my counsellor cum nurse cum friend cum teacher...where are you i am so upset now...

2008-07-28T00:28:00.002+08:00

actually i really dunno wad to update...i think today she is piss off wid me but not sure whether izzit true anot...but jus wanna say sry cos i dunno u are upsad for the whole meeting cos it like nth concren you...and im quite 'fan' also...jus hope that u feel better after ur slp..... :(

2008-06-30T06:41:00.002+08:00

its been one month since i last updated my blog...for one month did nth but only work play eat shit lo...nth much to update too becos everyday is like the same...but only two day i would like to blog bout...first is 20th of june...cos its my class BBQ day actualli not very fun la cos i go e wrong end of pasir ris park den walk back to the right place den almost my whole shirt is full if water lo...den down there also didn't eat much den talk talk wid pong, kun,and a few other fren lo....den go home ard 11++ lo...and the other day is 25th of june cos i went for my NS registration and check up la...so sian lo took so much of my time den finish ard 1230noon and went home for lunch....

i missed the day wid you hope you will soon realise your love for me is there and we know more bout each other soon....

2008-06-01T02:21:00.001+08:00

nowadays getting more and more stress la...cos of 'FT' thing den working is sian one la...everyday also doing the same thing work den slp den work den slp den work again...bored...

2008-05-23T00:38:00.003+08:00

first i gonna blog from monday till today...

monday: wake up late cos i cannot sleep early...work in the night till 1130pm then i went home but still can't sleep and till the next morning then i fell asleep...

tuesday: morning i late for work and all i did was working the whole day and hope not to think of thing that make me sad but nothing seem to work as usual..and i almost cried during work...when i reach home maybe i was too tired i fell asleep very fast...

wednesday: i did not late but boring during work time and no money to eat lunch so i eat only cup noodle but it doesn't help at all i was hungry throughout the day untill i reach home then i got the proper food to eat but still nothing seem to work out as usual and due to the tiredness of the previous day i fell asleep soon...

thursday: today went to work i thought i will be late but in the end i was not...i was just in time but Stephanie was late as usual...today was a stupid day cos i saw so many student during work time and i just couldn't help to envy them cos i miss my school life...the days where i have not much worries and just go school to have fun with my class and bully some noob teachers but life doesn't flow back and i just have to accept it...

it's the same for me and you...i will be waiting for the day you decide to date me...always...

2008-05-17T22:50:00.002+08:00

today...unexpected thing has happened...i dun expect it would happen and happen so soon...i cried..i cant fall aslp...

2008-05-13T01:21:00.002+08:00

feeling down these few days...dunno y also...maybe im having too much stress for past few weeks ba...plus some problem la...dunno y also...and i see that i so long never update le so come and update...anyway i dunno what to say also so stopping here le...blog again when i know what i wanna blog bout...

2008-04-20T21:58:00.002+08:00

today is my birthday but kind of sad oni...8 ppl wish me happy birthday...and 4 of them is my family la...and my dear lo...and out of so many friend oni 3 ppl remembered my birthday...i feel so upset now...and it gonna end soon...

thank you dear...i love the pressie u gave my..the two of them :)

and i thank my family for the meal and pressie...

and thank ming for the dinner...

and lastly thank JB for the offer although i am not going but at least i noe u still rmb it...

2008-04-06T02:29:00.002+08:00

so long i nve update my blog le...cos everytime free but forget if not i will be not free so nve update formore den one month le...first i gotta say i got job le..which all my bro should not be knowing cos i haven been meeting them for more den dunno how many month le..and i dunno how to ask them to meet la..so somehow is my fault la..i miss goin out wid them...but they shld be workin so not very often they are free ba...hope we can go out soon...and callme out ok....

den now i workin lo if not at hm play e gunbound lo...cos my dear plying den if catch up to her rank den can ply tgt...so now trying hard to catch up lo...

three month wid my dear le...i want you to noe that i will love u no matter it 3 months or 3 years or even 30 years...i will love u and let u be the most happest gal in the world and no one can ever sae they are more 'xin fu' den you...I LOVE YOU!!!!!!

i will end my blogging here and i will update it soon..

2008-03-04T01:28:00.003+08:00

so long since my last update...afew ppl have ask me why have i not update my blog...actualli i also dunno why...maybe im realli busy or maybe i jus feel nth to blog bout...cos these few weeks all ihave been doin is almost e same and everynight im not able to slp...den meet my dear dear...and feel that her love for me have become deeper and deeper as each day passes...and i have applied for work before goin in NS...so life now is jus fine for me and i dun wish it would change...but life in the future i have to support for myself so i have much to learn from now on..and i will do my best in everything...maybe thatis the true meaning of my life... :)

dear my love for you is getting deeper and deeper as each day pass by too..i love you..

2008-02-11T22:25:00.000+08:00

today is 11th of feb...three day to valentine day..still dunno wan to give wat to dear...cos dunno wad she need ma...aiya headache la...nve think dao de hua my head wil keep on pain de la..hope i can think something faster...

for chinese new yr i got almost $100 for the first time...yay!!and is i cannot go 'bai nian' not cannot take redpacket...lol...im so happy dis yr... :)

and for my pay i haven got it..hope they wun forget to give me ba...

these few day i actualli quite sian and dear i miss u so much til i almost dream of u everytime i slp...and also i have been losing my slp for so many day le...everytime 10++ slp den ard 11 wake up sad de lo...haix wad to do...

hope valentine faster come and dear exam faster over so we can meet more often.haha.

today i blog til here ba...bb and tc everyone...hope u ppl have a wonderful CNY...

2008-02-06T12:44:00.000+08:00

todae is new year eve and im here to update my blog..actualli quite sian la cos tired den ltr stil got to clean window and blah blah cos my two elder bro not home den i got to do these shit alone haix so upset bout dis...

last week went to find dear den go her house..haha...den cannot let my mother noe cos she will say nve let her see dear first den go let dear father see me ltr my mum di siao me again...den life is as boring as ever cos everyday do nth except thinking of what to give dear durin e valentine's day...shld i buy puzzle and do it to give her or buy something she can use to give her...?

ytd went to dear's home again sit there actualli do nth much la...cos i miss her so go meet her den she jus finish buying clothes so want go home eat dinner den i go up also lo...den sit there watch tv den see the show of 'chen long' so funny lo espcially the stupid police...haha dear u shld noe wat i mean lol...den 11++ went home den ply my PSP til midnight den slp...

2008-01-30T00:34:00.000+08:00

hi guys..i have decided to go army le...

actualli i got nth much to blog about la...cos e thing i do everything is almost the same...example like eat, shit, sleep, play, work, and tell my dear how much i love her and nth else..so not gonna blog bout it le...today meet my dear after work haha..but quite late le so we jus sit near her place and chat lo...de ply psp...den go walk walk awhile den company her home le...den i also went hm lo...today reach hm damn fast lo becos when i reach e bus stop e bus come le...lol...den tmr is our first month so gonna go meet her again...lol..

2008-01-24T15:32:00.000+08:00

Zzzz...nth to say...oni can ask NS or ITE?which to go?

upset

2008-01-21T01:17:00.000+08:00

forget wat i did in e past weeks...so blog only for friday til sunday de..friday finish work le...went hm wait for bao cos goin to takr my PSP le...den went hm slp le...sat mornin wake up den start clearing my hm le...so du lan lo...den til 1++ eat lunch den play my psp lo...after that go bath and prepare to go out with dear...den we went to watch National Treasure:book of secret or something like dat de la...den after e movie we went to TM de mac sit down...den played my psp la...so fun la...haha den sit down there til so pai seh cos lot ppl there den went away to block sit which is near her hse de..den sit there continue to ply psp lo...den 9++ went hm le...but i waited for the bus til 1000++ den reach hmlo...den bath le go slp liaox...den sun wake up at 1200++ den continue to clear my hse...and move thing...and i missed u dear...hope you are missing me like i miss u...i love you dear.

2008-01-10T00:44:00.002+08:00

i missed you dear...

haix so sian oni get $880 for my pay...its so little lo like nve even get lo...sad...

2008-01-08T23:52:00.000+08:00

this is wanted man for Xan The Lin.. :)

my bro making stupid face!!

2008-01-07T02:38:00.000+08:00

2008-01-05T18:12:00.000+08:00

today abit not in mood to do anything...ytd go JB de BBQ...drink quite alot too...morning den go hm...den use com till 10++ den called dear lo...den go slp le...dunno wad to sae le la...next time den blog..

dear, dun worry la...jus concentrate on ur studies after ur exam and project we can still go out...

2008-01-03T00:31:00.000+08:00

ytd is the first day of the year and also the first date for me and my dear...did nth much actually..in e morning i wake being woke up by my alarm...first time in history i can wake up at 900am in the morning when i dun have to work or go to school...lol...den called dear to chat awhile den ask her wan go eat dinner at night cos i missed her so much..den her sis zhen dunno tell me what bout the card and i still dun understand even now haha..but nvm i still got to thank her for the effort of making the card with drawn word...den around 930am den i go brush teeth...after that went to have breakfast with my family...i had 2 eggs and 2 slice of bread...den went to cut my hair after that cos my hair is long and getting irritated by it...after cutting my hair i went home to have a bath...den saw my bro at home den play PS2 wid him la...den he siao one keep on making me laugh like nobody business lo...den play till around 3++ i went to sleep...till around 4++ called my dear..den she not free to ans my call becos she washing the plate or bowls...den her sis zhen come ans her voice really so 'xiao hai zi' lo so cute de voices...not suitable for her face lo...haha...den went to sleep AGAIN..till 5++ den wake up den wash my face den watch tv lo...at 630pm went to bath cos prepare to go out le..700pm went out of house den goin to meet my dear...den go TM eat dinner and the auntie give so much potatoes till she give me alot also den i eat till very full lo...and after eating went to NTUC to buy drink and her sweet...den dunno wan go wher le den anyhow walk walk til walk the way home haha...den i want to pei her home den she wan to pei me wait bus...lol but in the end i walk her home lo..on the way we chat alot of thing AGAIN..hehe..den when reach her place den i walk home by myself..and u noe what...i forget to take picture wid her...becos it is such a special day wher it is the first day of the year and also our first date..haix...

today went to work at 1000am soooo!! tired la...den during work no mood dunno why lei...den lunch i forget to ask them buy for me so i eat nth from morning til night other den sweets...den at night got a colleague buy us dinner lol happy la..after all today i didn't spend a cent on food...den went home around 900++pm when finish work called dear den ask her to call me cos got incoming call free den chat lo..i miss u dear...u must miss me also ok...den reach home le eat again cos mother buy le cannot waste food...den went bath and watch tv and anime den now come update such a long blog...den going to sleep le cos i still got to work tmr...night dear...night everyone...

and i forget to eat medicine for 2days le..dear rmb to remind me to take medicine cos u are my nurse lin.. :)

signing off -- -=yinyuan=-

2007-12-31T20:40:00.000+08:00

hihihihihihihi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ytd is a very secial day for me...most of you must have guess it...cos there is oni two thing in dis world will make me happy and sad..haha hope u guys will get it right...especially my band of brothers... :)

hehe...my dear counselor cum nurse lin cum teacher got a new post le...haha...

and today morning she wake me up..but at the same time i jus msg her..lol...den i go get ready for work le...waited for bao la...den went work le lo...today whole day dun feel like working lo...nb de la for nth get shouted at...upsad la...den 5:15pm finish work went to find her but in the end nve meet dao cos she meetin her friend but nvm cos going to find her is a last min thing so im not disapointed la... :) den went hm lo...do nth til now cos internet jus now cannot use...den now come blog le...done for today le...bye bye...

signing off -- -=yinyuan=-

2007-12-29T23:32:00.000+08:00

today is 29th of DEC 2007...wak up around 11++...den ply game wid my bro..den eat lunch at home...den ply e 'ming xin san que yi' till 3PM go bath...den go out le...watch movie wid her..e show so funny lo..i laugh alot la..den after e show went walk walk lo...den suddenly she wan to eat so went to food court eat...den saw newton and his sis...lol...i tik they saw us too...den shld be they tell liyan we goin out today...cos after our dinner when we walking halfway toward her home liyan called her la...den ask whether its true lo...den she ask mi to tok to liyan haha den i act blur keep hello-ing...lol...den i almost being knock by car sia cos i 'ge siao' too much le...lol..den luckily she pulled me back...den after crossing the road we sit at the bus-stop waitin for my bus to go home den sit there chat while waitin...afterall today we tok bout lots of stuff la..den when bus come i go hmoe le lo...but u noe wad...she say when she walking back she feel no mood le...wonder why..and i forgot to say...i SAW WEI SEN!!!!!!!!!!lol...i guess he eating dinner ba but dunno wid hu...haha...k my blog got to stop here le...i've enjoyed myself.hope u too enjoyed today...

signing off...-=YinYuan=-

2007-12-28T10:56:00.000+08:00

these few days keep smsing with her...feel that we are closer then before le...everything going on fine...but just that i keep forgetting to take my medicine although she already reminded me...see this is how forgetful i am...got to go to work le...bye....

i feel that I'm getting happier and happier these days and all thanks to my counselor cum nurse lin cum teacher...lol...

2007-12-24T20:49:00.000+08:00

today is 24th of Dec...normally i shld be happy but dis time round im kind of feeling sad...and today im sick due to last few day at the children class not enough sleep and too much stress ba...today went to give her the present but think dat wad i wish wun come true ba...so now i have decided to move forward and forget thing dat is already is impossible to come true go..although i noe i wil regret it but dat is the only option i left with now...from now on i have to live for myself...dun u agree?

hope i can do it...as i noe i cant...

2007-12-13T10:23:00.000+08:00

i feel so lonely...no one realli understood what i realli want...and i dunno how to tell them...

no goal in life..so what is the goal of me living now??

'no meaning'

2007-12-11T23:59:00.000+08:00

today im here to update...change myHP and number le..phone change to N81 le...and number change to 98179197...pls take note of that...

for sunday...went to my religious place but im late...it start at 130pm but i 200pm den wake up...den reach there at around 330pm...den at there discuss bout the upcoming class..den went to XXT to have a 'meeting' again...

den monday went to work as usual...and it is high volume...WTF lo tired like hell den somemore 6 people nve come either on leave or MC...weak sia lol...den went hm t 10++ lo...fuck de lo..

tuesday also work lo..but lucky not busy...quite ok..den finish work at 8++ went to find alan, siewmei and JB..den go eat...den find alan de stupid 'ah pek gao' cal 'mika'...den go hm at 11++ den eat again den now update and goin to slp soon...

working is realli borin.everyday is almost the same...eat slp work oni...

and i got my pay le!!!!WOW! but v little..sad...$594 oni...den pay back my bro $150...den got to buy shirt and pant...so poor again...anyway gtg..bye...

2007-12-08T00:34:00.000+08:00

life suck...too borin...and im so poor now...hope to get my pay sooner...haix..

reali hope that thing can turn back to the past...i miss those days...

2007-12-02T21:55:00.000+08:00

this is nokia 5610...

but nvm le...i buying n81 le...

2007-11-27T23:35:00.000+08:00

this is the phone i wanted

i want the school life...now everyday i'm workingand nth else...feel that im getting nowhere but toward loniness...

2007-11-24T03:25:00.000+08:00

time flies so fast...its been almost a week already...thing that i have said is true...i will never lie for such thing...

tues after the prom night...went to club momo...first time going clubbing...quite fun..went home very late...

wed morning wake up le go work...till 7pm like that went home then eat hao go sleep le cause i'm too tired le...

thurs went work as per norml...den went home 7++pm too...den eat dinner then online awhile then go sleep le...

fri...wenbao working with me le...lol...went to work together with him...den around 7++pm go hm le...then accompany him go shop for shirt and at the same time go see got any HP nice de and cheap de cos wanna change HP le...then went home and there is nothing for me to eat...shack then no choice cook maggie mee eat...

im not having a good meal this week...and i feel that im falling sick soon...i need someone to take care of me...

2007-11-18T05:29:00.000+08:00

so long never update my blog le...now cannot slp cos still thinking of something so come update as well...

on Tuesday, went to get e address of the place i will be working at...den come back meet Alan, JB and yan den slack lo...den till night den go home sleep...

on Wednesday, went to work at 130pm at tampines, till 7++pm den go home...den use com den sleep lo..

on Thursday, went to work at 11am, do a lot of thing at work,den also 7++pm den go home...

on Friday, went to work t 130pm, den very less thing to do...den 7++ go home le...den meet Alan, Ming, JB, Yan and Sen...den slack til very late..till 2++am den go home sleep...

on Saturday, is Yan birthday went out at 530pm...den go eat steamboat, walk walk, den see them play billiard as i dunno how to play so never play...den went back tampines to watch movie 'HERO' and that is a fucking idiot show lo..ending suck to the core...den went back home le...around 2++ reach home...

i really feel very lonely after each day pass by, all alone in this world...

---signing off---
-=yinyuan=-

2007-11-12T03:25:00.000+08:00

this update is a promise i given to someone that i will update yesterday...i don't know why i gave this promise, maybe i'm use to it ba...but nevermind a promise is a promise..i'll have to make sure it's done...

let start from wednesday...erm that day i didn't do anything much because the previous day went drinking then i vomited 3 times...feel so terrible then...in the afternoon i went for an interview for a job...then went back tampines find yan and sen eat....then meet alan and siew mei...and JB come also...then we slack for very long...

then thursday...did nothing and play games at home and prepare myself to have enough slp for my friday midnight work...

then friday sleep almost the whole day...den at night went to work at 1130pm...till the morning then go home...

saturday...10++am reached home then went to sleep le...around 8++ den wake up...then tell the person i dun want the job le too tired le...then went 824 eat dinner with ah ming...then go home sleep again...

sunday (today)...wake up 4++pm then go out eat with my parent then go my grandma house...then she come my house stay and i go meet JB, ah ming, yan, sen, alan and siew mei...then slack till 1++am then go home then i watch tv till mow then update my blog..

---signing off---
-=yinyuan=-

2007-11-06T11:33:00.001+08:00

today so happy...finish o lvl exam le...den i ytd online applied two job for admin staff...den both of them called me i dunno which to chose so hard...one at airport high pay but working environment is all malays...den second one is at tampines central but workin time is not confirm de...cos will need to work overtime til v late...den pay not v good...but i feel happy becos so fast they called me already...

--signing off--

-=yinyuan=-

2007-11-03T20:37:00.000+08:00

these few day i'm feeling so lonely...i noe there is ppl around me dat concern mi...but all i could was see them but i cant feel them...they are right beside mi...talking to me but den all i see was their black and white face n how their mouth moves..i could not hear anything...

life is just like a game of chinese chess...once a wrong move made mean you lose e whole game...in reallity one mistake made mean losin everything...

im feeling more n more empty as days pass...what shld i do...---signing off---

-=yinyuan=-

2007-11-01T23:12:00.000+08:00

so many days have pass..quite alot happen..gd as well as bad things...

on monday i've got 3 papers..first start wid english paper 1...doin quite ok wid it den english paper 2...did it ok too...hope jus can pass my english wid C5 or C6 can le...den maths paper 1...i feel i did it v well...

tuesday i've got oni maths paper 2...did it well too...i'm having confident of getting at least a B3 for maths...

wednesday i've got my MT retake paper...doin not so well...hope i will get a C5 wid it...den went slack wid pong til 2++ den go hm...

den today thursday...slp til 4pm...den wak up le wan use com to watch 'hitman reborn' but cannot watch also dunno why...den study le lo...so sian..den wan dl e flash player for my laptop but dunno wad happen jus cannot install it...den 8++ go eat my dinner...9++ come hm den study lo...study til goin mad le...

tmr im havin my physic paper...hope i cn do well...signing off---

-=yinyuan=-

2007-10-28T22:28:00.000+08:00

tmr havin 3 papers...eng paper1 and paper2 in e mornin and math paper1 in e afternoon pls bless dat e paper is easy so that i can pass well to go to poly...cos i already do wad ever to make myself pass le...and everyone pls pray for me ok...

2007-10-26T02:12:00.000+08:00

so many days nve update le...wednesday got chem exam...did so badly and i almost dun wan to take my 'o' lvl exam already....den 5++ go 802 drink wid lihan, JB nd company...den v late go hm...
today got geo exam...did it quite ok so quite happy bout it...but upcoming monday got 3 PAPERS..knn die liao...8am is eng paper1...den paper2...den afternoon is math paper one...siao liao lo...so many den all so important tgt..cb...fuck it sia...
now cannot slp den update lo...everyday also cannot slp lei dunno y also...wish i can slp in e nite lo...cos nite time is so lonely cannot find ppl chat den nth to do also...ok mi gonna update til here oni...hope i have some wonderful life waitin for mi in my future ba...

2007-10-24T02:20:00.001+08:00

cant slp...so sian...

life is so bored now...

2007-10-18T15:15:00.000+08:00

today is my 'o' lvl practical exam...did it quite ok...shld be rather happy now but i feel only emptyness inside of me...

ytd nite have a v strange dream...i saw myself holding a gal hand and smile v happy...but i cannot see who is e gal...but suddenly i saw myself lying on e road covering with blood!!and den i saw myself in a coffine e next moment...and becos of dat i was so shock and wake up in cold sweat from dat dream...can anyone tell mi wad does dis dream mean??does dis mean dat im goin to die soon???im so afraid now...

and who can go to sch wid mi to give e 'prom nite' money???

wad shld i do...

2007-10-18T00:42:00.000+08:00

why i cant slp...im havin my practical tmr...im not nervous so shld be able to slp de...but i guess there is only one reason...haix...i jus cant let it go...maybe becos of dat reason i cant slp for so many nite ba...and so many nite i've been so lonely all nite without anyone returning my msg...everything is so quiet even my hp...

my hp have been silent for so long...i jus want to be like e past when i receive so many msg from you...or waitin for u to cal mi anytime of e day...

i'm hopin to have dat kind of days back

2007-10-16T16:20:00.000+08:00

bored bored bored bored...BORED!!!!!!!

i hate e life im havin now...i wan e old days back...haix....

im goin crazy soon.....

2007-10-15T18:19:00.000+08:00

why bother about im bored lookin after yinhao oni now...before this you keep throwin him for mi to look after now that so much thing happened den u consider how i feel...wad the point of doin dis now...it already useless now why bother...i starting to feel that im being left out by this family...when nth happen you all dun care...oni when things happen lik findin out im doin something not right den you all care...wad for doin now its all useless...when i need ur care u dun give..when i dun wad it u give mi for fuck...i hate this family of mine...outside ppl are even better den u all are...like mi mean like mi dun lik mean dun lik...they are so true unlike u ppl always doing all these uneccesary thing...fuck off and just dun bother mi anymore...

2007-10-14T06:43:00.000+08:00

these few days i've been losin my slp...i wonder y i cant slp..especially today im so tired but just cant fall aslp...i feel so empty in my heart...i never feel so lost for a long time...i wish i can forget but i cant...it so hard to forget those thing...especially those few months...maybe those was e most happiest times of my life...now dat my life change from a colourful world to jus black and white...i wonder how long black and white world will ever change to a colourful world again or would it be jus black and white from now til the last day of my life...

2007-10-12T14:39:00.000+08:00

I NEED PRIVACY OK...MY FATHER SO WHAT...MY FATHER MEAN CAN ANYHOW SEE MY THING AR...FATHR BIG FUCK IZZIT...WAN TO SEE MY THING TELL MI I LET U SEE...U SEARCH MY BAG WITHOUT MY PREMISSION IS INTRUDING MY PRIVACY..I DUN LIK IT...I ANYHOW SEE UR THING U ALSO DUN LIK RIT...NA BEI CHI BYE...FUCK U LAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-10-08T16:09:00.000+08:00

now that my life is all black and white and no other color already...what should i do to get all those colorful life of mine back...i think i'm depress now...just want someone to kill me now so that i'm free from all these torturing...can i??=( is it no one think of me or i think they never think of me...i reaaly need care and love...where can i get it...i'm so scared...

2007-10-08T02:40:00.001+08:00

sad...haix...

2007-10-06T18:29:00.000+08:00

IM SO BORED..NO PPL MSG ME TO ASK MI GO OUT...IM GOIN CRAZY SOON!!!!!ARGH ITS NOT SOON IM ALREADY CRAZY NOW...HP SO QUIET HSE SO QUIET...IM LIVING IN A QUIET HELL!!!MSG PPL NO PPL REPLY ME...IM NOT A GHOST LA...

im s o sad now

2007-10-05T18:49:00.000+08:00

maybe i should close my blog le...cos i think nobody ever care to read my blog n not even tag in my tag board...maybe im jus an extra life which nobody even care to take a look at me for now...sadded =(

2007-10-02T16:47:00.000+08:00

who want to go GP study with me sms me??thank you...

2007-10-01T12:43:00.000+08:00

so funny i dreamof my magic card ytd...lol...

2007-09-28T14:36:00.000+08:00

wat shld i do...hai...so confusin...WTF...

2007-09-26T00:09:00.000+08:00

it should be our 9th month together but we didn't last til this long..i was bored and rotting at hm e whole day...i hav lost interest in everything even plyin of games...life looks meaningless nw...i dun hav a goal in my life anymore...today my mom ask mi y nve go out cos its 25th of the month...i dunno how to ans her..jus told her busy...i hate telling lies but i dun wan her to worry for mi so i hide from eveyone...oni few know dis matter...im so tired...tired of living in dis meaningless world...wat am i living for now...

2007-09-25T21:32:00.000+08:00

another day of lonelyness...at hm rot for e whole day..wat can i do...slp eat n ply game...

2007-09-24T14:15:00.000+08:00

what is mean by living life to it's fullest?is it mean that living a life with a goal or is it living a life happily...i live happily once but now i've lost my happiness does this mean i already lived my life to the fullest before?or is it i have not live my life to my fullest

i feel that i'm just a walking corpes...it just a matter of time i really turn into one...today i got some of my prelim result...i've done so badly and those are the one i have confident but it turn out so badly done...i can't imagine my other subjects...it must be worse...i'm feeling so down now anyone can tell me what to do...

my title is back to square one again...but with some changes..."lonely man on earth"...

2007-09-23T01:18:00.000+08:00

these few days i hardly fall aslp...why..izzit dat i've been thinkin of u too much...since last week i haven been slpin well...especially ytd...i cant fall aslp...i slp oni at 7++ in e mornin...im feelin so lost n lonely nw...

2007-09-22T19:14:00.001+08:00

im lonely nw

2007-09-22T12:51:00.000+08:00

it no longer can goes back to e past anymore...everything is already over...just lik u say there is nth i can do bout it...n i hav to say im sorry...btw im not sayin u are nt important to mi u are everything to mi...maybe to you all these word seem to be useless nw...but i hav to say..i luv u...goodbye...